lets treasure the present moment (:

the wings beneath my feet

2012-02-06T00:51:00.004+08:00

other than daddy, his the most wonderful man I have ever met (:

i always believe, if you are a friend to someone, you will be happy to see your friend happy, even if you disagree with the relationship. if you are my friend, you'll be happy, because right now, i've found a moment of peace, and his definitely a perfect one that i wont sacrifice.

cny 2012

2012-02-03T00:35:00.005+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

looking forward to every year chinese new year for the gathering at tangyi's house. this year was exceptional because there are many addition members to the family. blessed to have this big family where all of them are so kind and helpful (:

Aging sign.

2012-01-26T22:23:00.001+08:00

小时候，哭着哭着就笑了
长大候，笑着笑着就哭了

second mission completed

2012-01-05T23:43:00.005+08:00

our first night cycling on 1.1.2012.
yishun 925 for dimsum.
.

second night cycling today.
sembawang shopping centre for kungfu paradise.

really love staying near my bf (:
oh ya, thank you for the beehoon on my bicycle at 5am! totally cheered my tiring thursday up.

The best picture of you

2012-01-04T22:24:00.001+08:00

To remind you, you are so much more beautiful than you think you are, beautiful in your heart, my bestfriend :)

new direction

2012-01-01T22:47:00.012+08:00

here I am writing out the first entry of 2012
flashing back, 2011 has been a very eventful year, i guess i'm actually gonna miss it alot.
erm, where do i begin ? there's so much to say, so much to reflect on, so much that i have learnt, so much i have seen. it’s a year that i've made many new friends, strengthened some friendships with my classmates and besties, lost many friends, lost some friendships.
.
the first 8 months of this year, i found myself finishing up my life in NYP. time wasn't just burnt on fyp and projects, but also, enjoying the joy laughter in tutorials and lectures, outings with my clique. And of cos, the best volunteer trip to chiang rai in march marked the best memories. my resolution for 2011 was to enjoy being with NR0915 to the fullest, yes, i did it (:
.
the hardest thing that happened in 2011, was probably, going through awful changes in my past relationship that didn't work out right, and to finally let go after so much of struggling. tears and chaos, i've been through it alone, walking around with a smile, went through patterns of my day as if there's nothing wrong. i'm glad i didn't have to go through it again. but i honestly have no regrets loving and doing any of the things i did, all I feel is sorry that I did it so wrongly.
But but! every ending has a new beginning.....
.
I met the best thing that happened in 2011. I know it happened a little quick n sudden, but I wouldn't feel bad to be blissful. Because for once in my life, im truly am. Yup, the best thing was...

yes, gabriel ong baiwan, a best gift from angel. he read my mind, hear my thoughts and see my feelings just perfectly. seriously, although its only few months together, sometimes i feel as if i've known him since long before i was even born♥ i'm pretty sure we are meant for each other. the last few months of 2011, i found myself having hearty smile by myself, looking forward to every morning when i woke up, and his the reason behind it, making me smile with all the messages and surprises, listening to me like a full time bestfriend. i wonder how would my 2011 end without meeting him, i'm so glad i did. i'm really contented with life now. hope that things will stay constantly smooth... (:

.
2011 has been a great year, despite all the bad things. i spent lots of time with my family(or maybe not really), but lesser with friends:( for that, i really wana say sorry to my besties. i bet many people feel that i've changed. no matter what, in my heart, i always, only, long for the same friends(gladys minli moi yuan johnson) to share memories, my only friends.
.

talking about 2012 resolution. erm, i wana keep it simple. just to enjoy the things, the feelings, the love and the people that is left in my world, yup, being happy is all i need.

Happy new year. hope it's not the last year.

2011-12-28T22:10:00.001+08:00

Although sometimes, I think that being a staff nurse wasn't what I thought nursing was. At times, my dream really seems so unclear, but at least i have the littlest clue to guide :)
this angel that a patient made, their compliments or simply just a smile and 'thankyou'. They are the clues that guide me through. I can do it.

ILYGOBW!

2011-12-26T23:00:00.001+08:00

Happiness is all about finding the inner beauty of every single moment of time with you, or that simple gesture that leaves a smile on your face for the whole day :)

生日快乐

2011-12-19T19:56:00.008+08:00

I remembered 4 yrs ago, every year on this day, Irene and I would think of ways to surprise him, and we celebrated every birthday as if it was his last one :)
there was once, he went to bath after a long day from work, we off the lights at the moment he stepped out of the bathroom, he was damn so angry, but when he saw the birthday sandwich we made for him with a candle and birthday songs, his expression changed so dramatically :) he smiled, then he made his wishes for us. I told him to wish for himself and he said, his wishes are all meant for us. I will never forget that night :)
I made many birthday cards for him, now looking back at all the cards and letters, I realised I was a really sweet daughter, but I could have done much better :)

This was my best art piece in 2001, hoping that my skinny dad could eat more and gain weight :)

6 years back then in 2005

taken in 2006, in within a year, he grew so much older and weaker.
i really miss him.

Someone once told me, a dead person doesn't have birthday, his not dead. His in my heart, always and forever.

Thanks for being you.

2011-12-06T21:36:00.001+08:00

For all the herbal tea that popped out at my door steps.
The doughnuts, with that cute postcard and baby pooh.
Those twelve cupcakes and awfully choc that cheered me up after work:)
All the impressive handmade cards and letters you did.
The beautiful Titus watch and the portable charger.
The keychain with our names on.
All the movies tickets u spent just to fill up the album.
For signing SPF, somehow for some reason.
For all the long fb messages you sent that made me smile heartily.
For listening to my grandmother stories that I've repeated many times as if it's the first time I say, just to entertain me.
And for your patience in queuing so idiotically long to eat bai Mee fen, lao ban tao huey and tpy rojak.
All the ice-creams we had together, although I know u r afraid of gaining weight.
Oh ya, and the bee hoon you hung outside my house at 5 AM for me to eat for lunchtime!
And today, for rushing like a mad cow during that few hours of nights out, just to buy me cup noodles,herbal tea and my fav honey chicken, when I found myself breaking apart today.
And even, for the simplest thing u did, like walking 2 blocks to my home with me every single time we met without fail.
for everything u did for me this few months
I thank you, so much :)
Thank you for being yourself, and accepting who I am.
I love you more and more, not only for what u have done, but for being filial and being sincere to everyone around. For being a bestfriend, and even, like a big brother, a amazingly good boyfriend. I love you for you being YOU, Gabriel ong.

hope u know, how much I appreciate and I will cherish u. I'll end this sweet talk with my favorite picture of the month :)

A heart ache visit me.

2011-12-06T00:38:00.001+08:00

Tonight, I sleep beside the bed where he left. I think of the nights, when he woke me up to do phlegm suctioning. I think of the nights I stroke his forehead for him to sleep. I think of the nights I looked at him till I fell asleep. And it felt real :)
He keeps me here, he keeps me going.

Friendship is not about compliance.

2011-12-02T01:02:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I ask myself, why do I always give in first in an argument or initiate a talk during a cold war? Why do I bother to talk to a person who ignore me constantly for reasons that I don't know what went wrong?
I'd rather lose an argument to someone than lose someone over an argument. Because, you are someone so important. I wouldn't be bother to apologise, if that someone is just anyone.
It may seems like I don't care and cherish friendship enough like last time anymore, but letting go of my ego is also my way of cherishing, and this is what i've been practicing in kinship and relationship too.

I don't like my apology to be ignore:(

Do it with love

2011-11-29T11:28:00.001+08:00

This inspired me to be a better nurse during prcp and when I pass out. Whatever choice we made, do it with love, we cannot go wrong.

they threw your unhappiness behind

2011-11-27T21:50:00.006+08:00

i realised i love babies so much, babies as in the age of 0-2. and i'm considering neonatal ward few years down the road (:

GABRIEL

2011-11-24T02:10:00.005+08:00

Ever since I met you, it hasn't been the same.
All you've got me doing is drawing hearts around your name ♥

stop. take a deep breath

2011-11-18T01:02:00.008+08:00

when we were younger, everything seemed big and exciting
now we're older, everything's the same except we are no longer excited
we've been jaded
that's when, we reach an age
when we learned to stop
take a look around
and seek the beauty in the people and everything around us
because, seriously, how long more are we left with?
to breath, and to admire this beauty in life around us?
the world is changing constantly, so do people
enjoy what you have now, and find the best in them
because one day all you'll be left with will only be past experience and memories

Always and forever, in my heart

2011-11-08T00:10:00.001+08:00

We reached a certain age when we find it so hard to make good friend, its because, we always see the old one better than it was. I've reached the age, that no matter how many new friends I made, at the back of mind, the memories with the old ones, will always remind me that they are my best friend forever :)

2011-11-07T02:12:00.001+08:00

Time pass so slowly, when you miss someone you love, and you want to see the person so damn badly, but the fact is that you are never ever going to see the person again, until you are close to death...
I can't afford to lose anyone I love anymore, sincerely pray that everyone around me will be healthy, just like how he used to be :)

Life as a battlefield

2011-11-01T23:25:00.001+08:00

:) one month of Geron posting finally come to an end! As much as I wish for holiday to come, I would really miss working in ward 64, the nice ward staff, all the cute ah mas that I took care of :) and those ite students I met :)

Geron was indeed what I always wanted :) indeed, things happened for a reason. I wasn't able to fulfill my dream of germany attachment, but i had a great learning experience here. I have so much clearer picture of nursing, and life.

I met some nurses who advised me to give up. The way they treated patients grumpily, I thought, will I be like them one day? Tired of all those paper work, of all those annoying call bells and patients, of the nags from seniors or sister, of not getting the leave you planned, of all the back stabbing from colleagues. I hope I can survive another 20 yrs in nursing, but seriously, how far can passion bring me...

Nursing a 99yrs old grandma, I understand the true meaning of job satisfaction. Convincing a patient who doesn't eat well to eat and feeling happy when they ate more than they could. Having her to hold my hands and cried that she want me when I told her I won't be seeing with her anymore. Lending a listening ear to her, when she told me that I sayang her more than her ignorant daughter do. I really love her and she assured me that I love Geron more than anything else:)

And i really have greater appreciation of life, of my family and the people around me. Nursing that annoying bed 8, who kpo in everything I do to the patient beside her, who lecture me everytime I take her bp! Although she always drive me to my tethers end, I pity her. how would u feel if every movement u made is painful cos u r at the last stage of cancer, yet, you don't have anyone to rely on? What's in your mind, if you have to scold people to pretend you are strong? What i've learned is, we really have to spend our time wisely. We cannot go back into the past to undo the things we have done, and we won't know everything that may happen in the future as the world is constantly changing. But there's one moment of time which we have some conscious control, the present :)

Throughout this Geron posting, I keep thinking of dad. I saw his shadow in many male patients, lost and weak, regrets and hopelessness all written in the face. Ive learned that, many of us go thru life without a clear idea of what is the purpose of our existence. This become a problem as we grow older and closer to death cos we become more dependent on others. We really have to find out why are we here:)

Life's really like a battlefield, we always have to make decision of what is worth fighting and what isn't. I don't have much time to waste anymore... All I want now, is to be with the people I want to be with, go to the place I want to go, and do the things I want to do! :))))))

Omg, such a long post. pen off now:)
I'll miss u, short girl hamtaro:)

the world revolves around you

2011-10-23T23:44:00.005+08:00

dear you,

when life is on a up it never fails to look bright and sunny
when life is on a down it never fails to look dark and gloomy
it was you who took me out of the dark and gloomy
and into the bright and sunny
and kept the sun up there shining so brightly
i just want u to know that
thank you for taking away my rainy days
if there's one thing
i can say that will be true till the end of time
it's not "i love you" but rather,
i will be faithful
i swear i'll never let you down.

Treasure the present moment

2011-10-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

End of the world
how true is it?

I really have so many things left undone, so many things to explore. so many places I want to go, so many kinds of people I want to meet. Most important, so many things I want to do with u.

How would it be like, if we know how long more we left in this world? What would be the most regretful things u ever did or never did? Who would be the one u want to spend with for the last second of ur life?

I wish I know how dad felt when he knew he didn't have much time left.

No way to turn back

2011-10-15T09:24:00.001+08:00

I love u. And I really do. I dont know what I would do without u.

A part of my life ended, another part started

2011-10-11T21:44:00.001+08:00

Suddenly i feel that my life is in a mess now. I used to be a person who choose what I need rather than what I want, making this kind of decision without a second thought. But now, I'm stuck with many many thoughts. I'm in a crucial one week whereby decision number 1 need to be made. Been thinking about the same thing for days, I'll need to do some serious soul searching. What do I really want? What do I really get? And hopefully I'll get some answer... Sigh.

What are words

2011-10-08T00:39:00.001+08:00

Anywhere you are, I am near,
Anywhere you go, I'll be there,
Anytime you whisper my name,
You'll see,
Every single promise I'll keep,
'Cuz what kind of guy would I be,
If I was to leave when you need me most,

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them,
What are words
If they're only for good times then they're done,
When it's love, yeah, you say them,
All of those words,
They never go away,
They live on,
Even when we're gone,
And I know an angel will say
Just for me and I know I'm meant,
To be where I am and I'm gonna be,
Standin' right beside her tonight,
And I'm gonna be by your side,
I would never leave when she needs me most,

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them,
What are words,
If they're only for good times then they're done,
When it's love, yeah, you say them,
All of those words,
They never go away,
They live on,
Even when we're gone,

Anywhere you are, I am near,
Anywhere you go, I'll be there,
And I'm gonna be there forever more,

Every single promise I'll keep,
'Cuz what kind of guy would I be,
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel
Close.

anyone who sing this song to me and mean it, I will love the person forever : )
But seriously, who will?
Now, will there still be a person like chris medina ?

Mum, you are so beautiful : )

2011-10-02T10:28:00.002+08:00

I am lost

2011-09-26T19:58:00.001+08:00

SIGH. One month holiday flew away. Back to work again. Somehow, I'm feeling so unwilling to go, maybe it's because ive been slacking for too long, maybe its really because ot is not my interest. Maybe I won't be dragging myself to work when it comes to geron posting. Or maybe... Nursing is really not for me? I don't think i can be a good nurse. I went to pray twice, the first lot says choosing this career is a disaster, the second lot says, my dreams were untrue and it won't happen. My dream to help patients recover, it won't happen.. The reason why I'm staying on is because I love the patients, but so what? I'm bad at critical thinking, I'm bad at writing report. Im bad at answering the questions that people ask. I dont dare to scrub a patient cos im bad at communicating with doctors. Im too blur to be a nurse. Somehow, for a moment, I doubt my choice was right. Im afraid the stress and lack of freedom will cause me to lose my passion n interest, and then become a grumpy staff nurse. But what else can I do other than nursing? I hate ot, I hate myself for doubting my capabilities.

I don't know how, I don't know why, but u seem to be lingering on my mind all the time...

best ones.

2011-09-10T00:40:00.005+08:00

happy and contented to have them (:

seriously, holiday has been really bored and costly. i cant wait for attachment to start ): and i miss school so much. i miss all the nonsense from iskandar and the rest of the guys. i miss the dirty girls talk (: i miss swimming with steven and the rest. i miss slacking in library, in the media room during long hours break with my clique. i miss the irritating ones making fun of me. seriously. i miss them.

we always complain just how much more years until school ends. but when it does end, we'll realise just how much we dont want it to.

yep chiang rai

2011-09-02T02:10:00.008+08:00

all of a sudden, i miss chiang rai so much, it's been half a year, and i realised i didnt write down my trip to chiang rai in march! my 21st birthday.

i miss phu chi fa ): the dusit hill guesthouse was really the best place i ever stay, even better than my own house, tho lots of insects. i love fresh air in the morning, and the natural aircon at night! and auntie was a really good cook, every meal was like a feast, and her tomyam soup was awesome. evening, we will go downhill to watch the sunset. every night, all would sit together at night for sharing session. and the girls would sit together to gossip,(: let the picture speaks (:

we climbed the phu chi fa mountain. such a beautiful place (:

dusit hill !!! our lodging place !

every evening when we finish our work, we will sit outside together to write our journal (:

HUEY KU SCHOOL !

i miss the journey from dusit hill to huey ku school on the lorry, especially with the girls. the wind always slapped me awake, and the endless stretch of beautiful scenary was unbelievably! seriously, i didnt want to blink my eyes at all (:

i love those kids, those moment of unadulterated happiness

i met boonchu and chart. my favourite student throughout the days in huey ku school.

during the three days, we taught them simple english, and also first aid. although communication barrier was so bad, the kids were so willing and appreciative to be able to learn.

four days in huey ku was really busy! after lesson, we have to paint their library. I drew it! a person so lack of confidence actually volunteered to draw on the wall, it'd felt like a dream. i played a big part in their library and really felt a sense of satisfaction to see what i've drawn was painted so nicely. it was the day i found my talent too (:

although we dont communicate well, four days was enough to make the last day in huey ku a heartbreaking one, but i held back my tears so they would rem how happy i was with them (: i remember them shouting i love you so loud and clear. we exchanged photo of ourselves. and i really miss fighting with boonchu so much and i hope he think of my too ):

Long neck Karen

on our R&R, we went long neck karen village!!! (: their necks are pretty scary and i learned about their culture.

travel down to RIMCHAN RESORT. terrible haunted place. at night, we would go over to the 10 beded room with them, watched tv and we would translate the thai show to english, miss tang joined too. damn funny (: the weather was so damn cold there due to the japan tsunami, almost 12 degree and it's worst then their winter. i suffered so much there cos i only have a cardigan to keep me warm.

MAECHAN SCHOOL!

we went to maechan school to teach english again. i love the people there, they are so friendly(: the little ones are like stickers sticking to us whereever we go! so irritating. but the older ones love us being their english teacher (:

MY 21ST BIRTHDAY !

in the morning, we went to their jap club! it was so fun trying on the kimono!

my best buddy Pae came to find me, with all her friends to sing me a birthday song and their handmade present. so damn touched.

when i was hugging and crying with Pae, they gathered everyone into the club room. it was a surprise celebration. the kids were so excited to eat my cake that they sticked to me so closely, but their eyes on the cake. hahaha.

it was lucky that, on my birthday, they had a celebration for some culture thing. so we got to see performance and had a special dinner in the school. their performance was awesome, and it felt like they are celebrating my bd too (:

then at night, we went to their bunk to visit the kids. due to the lighting and thunder, the power was shut off. those kids sat on the floor and waited for us in the dark. when we reached, they sang a birthday song so damn loud for me. really unforgettable.
the saddest part was, we went to the boys bunk. i saw a very small boy sleeping on the floor with a very very thin mattress. the floor was freezing cold, but because that kid had bladder problem, they left him on the floor. it was so disheartening when i hug and feel his fear and cold. where did his mother go?
that night before falling asleep, i thought through so many things about life and i had a greater appreciation of how much i have in life. for the first time ever, i celebrated my birthday oversea, and it was my 21st. it sure felt different.

last day in maechan school.

last day was seriously a teary one. all my team, the students in maechan all burst into loud sobs! i remember myself crying and hugging pae, ning and pat so loud, yet keep telling them not to cry and be strong, and i held Pae's hand so tightly in the bus through the window as the bus left, just like in drama. although it's only a few days we knew each other, it seemed like we were long lost sisters (: i truly miss pae, ning and pat so damn much ):

my awesome YEP team! i miss every single one of them, Miss tang and Mr Lee too !

i love the girls i hang out with during the trip. wing, ailing, ju, jill, ahmiao, beverly,regina, nichole, and miss tang. blessed to meet nice people where ever i go (:

I MISS CHIANGRAI AND I WANT TO BE THERE

goodbye NR0915

2011-08-25T23:30:00.004+08:00

looking at how much everyone have changed and grew up, i really felt overly emotional.

i will truly miss my clique and i really want to thank them for stepping into my life.

wingchu. seri. raudah. weizheng. iskandar. amsyar. steven. and sally too.

so hard to express my feelings, i think i will leave what i want to say till graduation day

i <3 you guys.

heartfelt words

2011-08-10T22:47:00.003+08:00

i still remember i wasn't very involved with the class affair in pri and sec sch, and i have no idea what have i done for all the class projects and whatever, most probably nothing at all.

but today, i felt so emotional. wow, time pass faster than i comprehend. its our last project. last. three years ago, i desperately wish to complete this 3 yrs and then say goodbye, but now, i feel some difficulties in moving out of my comfort zone to know new colleagues and friends.

i will truly miss the days in nyp. with the NR0915, the best class i ever had. and with the clique who made out of merepppeek people making me laugh all the time. despite what the class have been thru together for 3 years, the tomsambas, the dispute over class funds and whatever, be it good or bad times, i really love the time spent in nyp. i guess we will meet up very very little after our final exam. but still, i will always keep every bits and pieces of memories in my heart.

2011-08-08T23:45:00.002+08:00

if he is still here, i will buy that shoe for him. i will bring him to a cruise and to China. it was a regret that i didnt do it when he was here..

best thing in life

2011-07-22T01:35:00.006+08:00

besties, forever.

can't get over the fact that i lost my fav picture.

2011-07-02T00:10:00.008+08:00

this post is going to be so mushy, because i can't explain why, i really miss being with them. every single one. AHMOI, the blur one, always showing her happiness when we are together. ML, the oldest friend among all, the one always truthfully stab people in the face so you cant hide. hahaha. GLAD, the one who always make an effort to spend time together, always listening, always laughing, and consistent concerns for me. JOHN, the one who bring out the best in me, cheer me up with those sweet nothings. YUAN, he knows me so much more than i know myself, always nagging me to have confidence.

they are humble, never assumed that i know everything that they do, giving me honesty to say i don't know. they never doubt my abilities when i always, always, always doubt myself. i love being with them, being myself, laughing at the senseless joke when honestly, sometimes i dont even understand.

and saying this not because anyone offended me.

looks like everyone is so busy. moi busy with her 1.2k job and her intensive saving plans. ml with work and par-tor-ing, and soon her degree. glad with her fav accountant job and tution. john always busy searching for new friends and tuition. and yuan striving crazily hard for his condo. seems like i'm the most free one among all(except for weekends i know). till then, i realised, growing up, stepping into workforce, seems to be the toughest part of life.

but always remember, there are always someone out there who care for you, though some may not say it, or may not express themselves all that well, or just find it hard to show that they care, they will always be there.

i'm glad i found them ( :

the two important men

2011-06-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

look closely, my dad and bf look so alike (:

updates

2011-06-20T01:05:00.004+08:00

love being in MUAR, with all aunts, uncles, cuzzies, dogs, the house, and food of cos.

old friends i knew since primary sch have all grown-up to be a mother, i feel young. haha. it makes me wonder when will be mine turn ( :

i will never find another so silly like you.

bestinction anniversary

2011-06-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

11.6.11

a special date to remember, 6 of us, 11.11.

it feels like we are back to secondary school (: we wore phs pe tee to holland village xlb buffet and to pub, really felt underage. in adult world, i think i will never meet other friends like them anymore ( :
thank you for everything.

i miss you

2011-06-02T21:23:00.000+08:00

taken in sec 4, the day when i got my bursary award. despite being ill and difficulty in walking, he made an effort to come. all of a sudden, i feel so burnt out. what are good results or director list for when his no longer here.
just when i thought my motivation was gone, i dreamt of him last night. though in my dream he was still sick, i was so happy that i had the chance to nurse him once again, cos my greatest regret was being a workaholic... i let him down during psle, in lower sec, and now, for choosing nursing. year three already. i just need a nudge, to make myself work hard for that one last sprint. i cannot let anyone down this time round, not even my lazy self.
believe in me, i won't let you down.

i'm happy

2011-05-26T23:50:00.009+08:00

it seems like my blog is dying soon.

i love my class and i really cherish the time and laughter.

lost count of the months we are together and not together. but Happy 2 years.

i miss Boonchu and my sister Pae :( i hope somehow they will feel it.

just a blink of eyes.

2011-04-07T00:27:00.013+08:00

i was browsing through my friends in facebook. suddenly miss my DEWT1A01 classmates and leo club people! they brought so much fun into my life in sp. just a blink of eyes, everyone graduated. i was thinking, what would my current life be like, if 3 yrs ago, i didn't quit and continue studying something that i've no interest at all, i would have graduated with the friends there. and i might be like a lost child looking for a goal in life. lately. i've seen many fresh grads wandering around, looking for what they want to be, and i pray for them that they will find it. cos the feeling is so great, when u know what u want in life and somehow, no matter how tough it is, u are always led by ur dream. i feel very fortunate to be in nursing, moreover, my classmates are fantastic and i met awesome friends in nyp. i have so many things i want to learn, i have so many angers to swallow, but everything i learned and see in nursing, i found myself one little step nearer to my dream.

and he will always be my fuel.

2011-04-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

i'm so lazy to blog.

we always ask for more (:

2011-03-01T22:28:00.008+08:00

flyers was fun!!! :D grandma was ultra cute.

i am so happy. who says money can't buy happiness, i used money to buy my happiness, my new phone. thanks to those bd angbao (:

my 21st birthday is coming! (this only apply to my close friend) if you're wondering what to buy, haaaaa. i just need $_$ to buy another happiness, BICYCLE! :D i got my iphone and i got a new job! if a bicycle, i'll be the happiest person on earth. wahaha

time to blog (:

2011-02-25T02:16:00.000+08:00

overdue cny pics, with my great great family ♥

wondering... how would school be like without them ♥

wheee eu weee. my beautiful soulmate ♥

that day was sooo fun, riding people for the first time. a moment of pure happiness (((:

marche, sentosa. one of our CLASSIC PICTURE alone, is enough to make me laugh the whole night and everything else will be at the back of my head. i don't feel it's vday, actually everyday is (:

HOHOHO! EXAMS ARE OVER! i have never felt so stress for not being stress for exam at all. swim, sing, sleep, eat, laugh and little bit of revision everyday, i think that's the best thing in life. life is difficult man, not stress also stress. hahaaaa. next week will be real busy week, despite it's holiday. but i love what i'm doing, i'll make myself love what i'm doing (((:

my eyes became so ugly, i'm very very sad. i dont want to take pictures anymore ):

look forward to friday, gonna sing my lungs out. and saturday, i'm praying... ♥

we find perfect in every imperfect.

2011-02-09T19:44:00.008+08:00

with besties, there's nothing else i want more. i'm lucky to have them. the friends, i know no matter how cb i am, they will always accept me. that's how we earn our friendship.

friends are those who don't bear with each other bad point, but somehow accept it.

'you should be...', you can't... blah blah blah'. this kind of comments i've heard so much on me and other people, i'm used to it and i like people telling me that. but somehow it makes me wonder, am i being the real me, or just edit myself to someone people wish i am. if everyone has the same character and behaves in the same manner, the world can really collapse in arguments. erm erm erm. do not judge, that's my new resolution, but where should i start.

i thankful i have my true friends and family around. i used to scare people will hate me, but now as long as people i love don't hate me, there's nothing else i want more.

: )

i'm meeting CAROLYN tomorrow. indeed a special friend she is, i have no idea why im so happy :D

新年快乐

2011-02-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

every year of this day, we miss dad the most. had a really happy reunion with my mum, grandma and sisters (((:

have a great chinese new year!

♥daddy's side gathering. once a year thing, i love ((:

sometimes, i feel that that world is hard without him....

2011-01-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

finally, a morning free to visit him. i really miss him so much. i always miss him terribly much after dreaming of him. miss him driving us around for supper. miss sitting in his taxi with open windows cos he knew i love to 'eat wind'. miss cooking maggi for him when he reached home in the night, he always said my maggi was the nicest. and i would sit on the chair beside and look at him eat, and the raisin bread soaked with milk when he started to have swallowing difficulties. miss sayang him on his botak head then he would look up with his huge eyes. miss the smile when i told him results, and i miss being motivated to do well by the smiles.
i always have his picture around, cos i think it's my fuel.
a terrible week i've been through, next week will be better right (((:

i'll see you tomorrow and i have so much so much to say...

wish that happiness will last

2011-01-24T23:34:00.005+08:00

steven's wedding was a great one, enjoyed myself with my clique♥ i am really so happy for his marriage. his always a great swim-mate despite having lesser time to swim together nowadays. hahahaha.

好幸福哦 ~

every second, my heart is aching.

2011-01-19T19:45:00.004+08:00

i'm really really so exhausted physically and mentally, and i really wish nobody ask about it or care now, because mentioning about something i terribly want to let go only make my feelings worst. just want to stay in avoidance.

the best in school and out

2011-01-14T00:06:00.012+08:00

sometimes i think i'm really the lucky one. despite all the projects, test and tongsamba that weight kgs on my shoulder, i still have the funniest people in class to make me laugh and cheer me up.

.

and also having JOHN in and out of school! hahahaha! i always imagine how good it will be if ML, MOI, GLAD and YUAN are in the same school too!

as usual. my motivation, my role model. my unique smile. my pervert friend. heeeee! she's been the one helping me throughout! thankyou.

of cos, there's still other best people not mention. i'm so blessed (((:

i been working really hard, if only i did when he was still here.

i'm so lost with my own feelings, if there's one thing i hate, it is being untruthful to myself, making myself so busy and sick so that i can hide from this dilemma.

fever.

2011-01-07T01:20:00.004+08:00

big sigh . i can be lazy at times, but at least, i will finish what i have to do before being lazy. i always think people should be ashame for being lazy.
i'm out of time, and i really need money so desperately. i'm losing focus.
and i'm so sorry dear...

bid goodbye 2010

2011-01-01T23:59:00.011+08:00

whatzzzzup 2011

countdown with my loves at gladys's sweetest home! had her mummy's steamboat, chat and laughed, shared our resolutions. simple, yet the best and sweetest countdown with the 5 besties and lard(((: the funniest part was, ah moi, the girl who eat super duper slow had her chicken rice from 2010 to 2011.

i realised blogger.com is good cos just one click, i could recall all my resolutions for every year since 2007. 2010 was to relax and i've really accomplished that!

i thought of so so many resolution last night. because if world is going to end in dec 2012, i would have around 2 more yrs to live, there's still so many things i want to accomplish in life.
i want handle my emotion well, because there will be more and more grown-up problems in life.
i want to erase my vulgar habit!!! but this morning i just shouted it so loud, then i thought maybe forget it, i should just be the way i am only at home
i want to spend more time with myself, friends and most importantly, family
for school, i just want to cherish this year with my funniest clique and enjoy my unique smile to the fullest during lecture!
lastly, i want to change...... i want to be a better person
last night after the countdown, john yuan moi and i talked about each others bad point. spent the whole night thinking through what i need to change. yah right, i've been so secretive to my feelings and problems, yet i expect my friends to tell me theirs. i've kept too much to myself. and yes! i'm super contradicting, i guess it's because i've never been truthful to myself.
there's so much so much i need to change, so let me know if i'm really really bad person. but i don't change for you, i change for myself. hahaha

was reading through every post in 2010. i found out that i've become a much happier person now, doing things i love to do, being with true friends i love to be with. i'm stronger too, after being through so many ups and downs, realising the people who accept me and is always there for me.
my 2010 could have been perfect if ............ this would be the last thing i keep to myself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone, and dad.
sincerely wish people around me will be happy and healthy, especially grandma. and those i love will never leave me.

2010-12-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

happy 19th.

no longer silent night.

2010-12-25T14:38:00.009+08:00

the BEST christmas spent with BFF and BF :D

had our potluck at yuan's place, as usual. hahaa! every year spent with them is always the BEST christmas, especially best when jeremy is around too. i love all the presents they gave, the bear bag from ml and john for all of us and yeah! finally all of us have something similiar, the file and organiser from john, the skirt from glad, and tortoise soft toy from moi, and yuan for planning the event. this was also the most expensive christmas i ever had, making effort to buy present for each of them.

i like the feeling so much. i actually cried secretly after leaving, cos i'm really so touched to have true friends like my family. i remember how afraid i was to be alone during christmas eve, until i met them, and i'm no longer lonely on every occasion.
left early to jeremy's friend christmas party. not able to sing bd song for Minli, and see her cried when she opened my present ): hahaaa!!!

and and! my silly bf brought a huge domokun for me and i'm totally in love..... with domo♥ hahahaha. every weekend after sending him back to camp, i would definitely walk to the shop alone to admire that domo, can't believe he actually brought it without knowing that i admired for so so long! meltzzzzzzzzz.

i'm a happy girl...

my 10 years bud!

2010-12-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

hardly meet up with her but that's the reason why we have so much so much to catch up everytime we meet ♥

when confidence comes from my smile

2010-12-19T23:21:00.003+08:00

the ugly vampire teeth i had, ugly yet special. hahaa.

the miserable months when ulcers grew everywhere.

the yellowest time ever.

waiting every month for dentiest to say its ready....

and hooray~ fake and yellow now.

when i get home, the first half and hour was just standing in front of a mirror and practised my smiles. feels really good to lick every surface of my teeth, nothing stucked when i eat, i giggled and giggled when i brush my teeth, i sang out loud when i bath cos i could sing so comfortably! the feeling of happiness is definitely worth the price and 2 yrs plus of pain.

I'M BRACES FREE !

today is dad's birthday... someone once told me, a dead person does not have birthday.. but his not dead, his in my heart, so happy birthday to him. his always my motivation in my studies and in doing a role of a guy at home. sometimes, no guy at home is so inconvience, just like today, me and sis really had hard time moving the huge cupboard ): i could remember how he used to scold me for refusing to extract my vampire teeth. i miss him badly this few days, i'm having hard time.

2010-12-17T00:35:00.000+08:00

i miss my dad so much today ...... :'(

silly surprised

2010-12-05T23:50:00.004+08:00

he came over to my doorstep to surprise me with a card. silly. hahaha. we went to bukit gombak 小龟林, i used to go there with my family and cousins when we were very young, could remember seeing lots of tortoise there, but very very sad, the place had changed so much, no tortoise, no fish at all, many evil people fishing there. the feeling has changed, no longer as happy, as beautiful as i felt last time ): took pictures but i lost my cable, cant upload pictures from my cam anymore )): after that, went to my dental, counting down to the day i take my braces off :)))) then we went swimming !!! went to eat my fav popiah and dessert and find his old colleague. we are so into puzzle fighter! we keep playing and i think i'm a pro now after much training from him! had a LOL day. see you next week ( :

my blood is boiling

2010-12-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

i'm not you and you're not me.
don't expect everyone to do the same way as you do,
and judge people as incompetent when they don't.
i've learned that we should always find out the situation before assuming... ...

2010-12-02T20:02:00.005+08:00

♥ 好久不见, imy.

i think we look alike in the picture taken one year ago. haha.

so busy with o&g posting. have been having morning shift the whole week. so tiring, to walk alone without Carolyn is even more tiring. my first day was in labour ward, so cold and boring, utterly disappointed as i didnt have the chance to see delivery ): but having to watch husband assuring their wife who was in pain really gave me a sense of blissfulness. second day was in o&g clinic, best day! cos it reminds me of the days i used to work in outpatient clinic (: today i'm in nursery, bath and feed newborn babies. i really like them and i wish i can bring them home to play, felt so motherly to take care of them and made me want to be a mother! it's a good experience (:

hais, back to ward tmr ): time pass so slowly.

IMH, one of my best posting

2010-11-27T15:12:00.009+08:00

2 weeks in imh were just talking, laughing, playing, case studying and slacking.

it's one of the best posting i had.

my fav game played with iskandar, drawing and guessing the patients.

i couldn't sleep last night. keep thinking of the patients and found myself attached to them. bao dou kia, mickey mouse, einstein, snoopy friend, the one who look like dad, and all 44 patients, even the irritating one, i found myself liking them alot. they are so cute and funny, always talking nonsense and vulgar, and doing funny actions. our CI mdm pang was super nice too. but the pace there was so slow which is the only thing i couldnt take it, one minute seems like one day.

this posting assured me that geriatric and gerontology is what i really hope to specialise in next time. i've learned so much about life. it's really disheartening to see how could anyone be so heartless to reject their cute old family members. i felt so sorry for old people.

and for dad too, i remembered few days before he was leaving, he was just like those patient, talked nonsense, scolding and spitting at us. sometimes i get so frustrated that didn't even bother to attend to him when he needed my help, so i chose to worked over shift everyday rather than staying home. i could have been more patience to him just like how i treat patients now. it was the biggest regret of my life.

anyway, really had fun with iskandar and hoeyee and the old people in ward 36b. we had yummy arnolds chicken 2 times this week! forced myself a 16 laps run in stadium yesterday as a punishment.

it's a great memory ♥

with busier and busier life, more and more grown-up problems, lesser and lesser friends, i'm becoming more and more independent ( :

I ♥ TORTOISE, I ♥ YOU

2010-11-20T23:56:00.006+08:00

it's a laugh out out day at Chinese garden. went picnic and tortoise museum for early celebration of our 1year6months. feeding tortoise was the best part! enjoyed ourselves ttm, although it rained again. its our fourth raining picnic plan, the rain is fucking jinx! hahah.

today felt like it's been a really long time since we spend whole day together and chat non-stop and with no interruption. i guess i've been too selfish stressing for my own problems and we're too busy to spend time knowing each other ( :

told him all my IMH nonsense experience. i really like to be in imh, and i'm deciding if i should work there after my three years bond. i have soo many things i want to do next time. i want to work in day care centre and nursing home and imh. i want to join World Vision mission trip. i want to learn how to cut hair and cut for patients. and so much more. just by telling him my dreams make my heart beats faster. we are both so excited for our future.

i♥you

my besties.

2010-11-19T00:42:00.001+08:00

好忙，好累，救命啊!!!!!!!!!
]:

you will help me right, dad?

2010-11-11T22:22:00.017+08:00

tonight, im not going to touch any more school work, just rant here. i really want to shout !#&^$$#*!^&^&*@ out.. to anyone who pissed me or talk to me right now. i can even stab anyone with a knife, so i need to isolate myself..

just few days ago, i was still telling choy fatcat that i was so motivated in the things i do. but fuck, just few days only, today, things changed drastically, i'm just utterly demoralised by something or some people. i'm pissed off, but still pretended like i'm so patience. i want to cry, but still pretended to smile. hugged him so tight and cried, stop and think why should i cry, does crying makes me feel better? i want to do a research method on this question, fuck research method anyway.

take one step at a time, cos it's always like that, eventually i would be able to find many good reasons for whatever that had happened. i should have calm down and never vent my anger on him ): ate lots of chocolate to swing my mood again, then had a wonderful sakae sushi dinner with fatcat, sis and bro (: and i enjoyed weizheng and raudah's praises after tapping card for them. WAHAHAHA.

life is always full of helping hands and hope(:

ok, enough, i think i have serious mood swing.

YESTERDAY on thurs, watched the DUE DATE after school , super funny. then went to bottle tree park to reminiscence our first date before we were together (:

the huge fish that granted his wish on 19 may 2009. hahaha! made our new wish there(:

my cute but qian bian KEN he brought from australia.

me: so is KEN our son or what?

him: u want our son to be like a kangaroo meh! of cos his our pet.

LOL -__________-

♥you are special

2010-11-09T20:18:00.010+08:00

(: simply love arranging pictures together. we have 3 boards of pictures now, soon it's going to cover the entire wall of his room (: 3 days spent together after he came back, i feel that i'm gaining back all the fats and the butt that i've lost, although didn't eat much or any good food, but 2 days mcdonal is enough to gain ): hahaaa. yes ah, gonna spend the whole week together after school (:
not a second of my time with you was wasted!
i♥you

sing and dance with besties

2010-11-05T20:48:00.011+08:00

had a super great night yesterday with my bestfriend at katong ktv. sang out loudly, dance crazily, bully ah moi, created our own band named GST.

Gladys(gorgeous),Sockteng(sexy), Tengwanxian(terrible)

had our first concert in johnson's car. hahaha! supper at thomson.

i'm feeling so happy because i'm so lucky to have good friends around, and a goal in life that is reachable. i must believe in myself (:

fuck lah. sometimes i really get so irritated with all the rantings. it's not that i'm not a good listener, but everyday she's ranting about how she's being ill-treated by all those two-faced freak. when i gave advice on how she should respond, it's always one ear in and another out then came back crying for the same old thing. i really feel totally helpless. and i realised life is really unfair for her, i wish i can give her some of my luck and protect her. dad was right, when he was around he always said that being nice will only give people the reason to take for you granted.

the reasons why vulgar is essential in life

2010-11-03T00:46:00.009+08:00

there's a crazy woman in my house accusing us for losing her ugly tiny bikini. wtf is wrong man, no logic at all for stealing her bikini that cant even cover one third of my breast leh!
i felt so ashamed and regret for what i ate today, buffet at sakura and old town cafe at jb!
still fat and ugly even after so much exercise
constipated
i realised i enjoy being single, when it's only 6 more days left to his return
worry worry worry ... my mind can't stop worring
i'm still lousy at playing puzzle fighter
6 projects to complete with no idea how to get started for some module
distance between me and some friends are getting further, so much further )))):
12 more days to 4 weeks attachment at imh and sgh, im not ready to wake up at 5 am.
$$$ i always need $$$

-____________-.

SIAN AHHHH! the hidden vulgar habit will never die.

PHS HOMECOMING DAY

2010-10-30T22:32:00.006+08:00

our sat didn't turn out smoothly as we planned, so gladys and i decided to go for the homecoming day. was quite disappointed cos i expected more people to come. but i met some old classmates and friends, my favourite teachers, choo, mr chandra, miss jasmineyanti, mr julian lau, and principal MRS CAROLIN TAN!!!
i realised i didn't cherish my years in phs to the fullest until i went for habitat for humanity trip. and it was a regret.

i saw MEEEE again on the notice board

that is glady's school, chao yang!

i'm so grateful that i was a phs student ( :
after visiting old school, we went plaza sing to find ah moi, watched the social network, so boring till i nearly fell asleep. then had popeye! i love gladys! woohooo!

bestfriendship will one day fall apart, i hope this will never happened )':

encouragement

2010-10-29T23:14:00.003+08:00

school has been really fun, with my class, with 'animal game' which made me laugh till my jaw and stomach hurt, with a bright smile from my BOYFRIEND(carolyn) behind and a few simple words from her that brighten up my day.

when i graduate, i will truly miss days in nyp (:

最幸福的事

2010-10-16T11:32:00.005+08:00

♥12.10
it's gonna be a long long post cos i really want to remember every single thing that happened during our tioman trip. it was really exciting, fun, sweet and memorable too ( :

he played psp and slept throughout the 4 hours of travelling in coach and ferry, trying not to show his excitment, hahaha, so i did lots of self entertainment (:

view outside our room! wooohoo.

our first room gave us the creeps, so we changed to a better one(:

pa-PAYA beach resort! lol

we went swimming in that cold and dirty pool

went strolling at the beach after swimming. pretty upset with the super low tide, it looks really ugly.

damn crispy ramily burger!

dinner was great but we expected better.

strolling again and star watch at night (:

♥13.10

their breakfast eggs were yummy! but i had the worst hotdog i ever ate.

our first snorkeling experience

took loads of pictures! we went two island, the first one has sooo many fishes. was so afraid at first, but after awhile was drunk with the beautiful sea. the second island was cool! it's all corals and many colourful fishes! love it ttm!

after snorkelled, we went to explore again (:

anthony and benjamin!

most of our free time, we spent feeing cats and fishes and naming them outside our room, watched discovery channel, play card games, felt so peaceful (:

went out to explore again before dinner!

found this scary thing at the pond! named peter(:

nice coral(:

watched sunset ! seriously pretty!

the dinner was disgusting. had yummy fried rice at other restuarant(:

♥14.10

love birds (:

didn't bring enough cash so we selfishly brought souvenir for ourselves(:

going back time was tiring. we took the earlier ferry and waited at the jetty for the rest for 3 hours. the weather was terribly hot! we played monopoly deal and many games, i swear i hate playing deal with him, i always lost to him till seriously bankrupt, bloody pissed off.

really had a great time with my dear. 3 days is really not enough! i love the days with no mood to argue and nothing to quarrel about. if can we really won't hesitate to stay there forever.

but he had to leave to australia today. sent him of with tears......

its been so long since i spent the whole day sitting in front of laptop, no food no pee, nothing, just blog.

a night at sentosa

2010-10-09T21:50:00.000+08:00

i really really enjoyed the night so much (: it's only four of us but there's so much fun! night walk was terrible cos i felt many frogs around me although i only saw one. the best part was climbing the steep slope when finding our way to hotel, till now i still couldn't believe we did that, and Gladys did that! with yuan around, we do weird thing, always exciting and adventurous. couldn't sleep the whole night although the hotel was really comfortable, thought through some stuff... many many stuff. my friends brought me so much fun. thank you. i will never forget anyone of them.

fav pics and days of my holiday ~

2010-10-07T00:19:00.010+08:00

♥♥♥♥♥ top one with CARO last week was fun ttm! my first time go top one ( : and my friend is a great singer. woohooo ~

♥♥♥ swimming with dearest. finally eat our panda biscuit. felt one step closer after hanging out with all his relatives ( :

WE ARE RUNNING AWAY TO TIOMAN ~

wish we could really runaway for months, so he don't have to go so far away, and i don't need to go school ): really not sure if we can go through the month of distance.

♥♥ went all the way to JB, just for a lunch -_- but thank you johnson (: for keeping me company during my holiday.

♥ supper with the guys at jalan kayu. i gave one heart, cos it's sinful.

♥ swimming in the morning with john, yuan and raelyn! with raelyn, we went all the way to orchard, then bugis. so tiring and restless, cos it's my O day! raelyn was really adorable and i love her! i made her sleep in my arms, i think i'm a potential good mummy ( : but still, kids are noisy and troublesome are reality.

♥♥♥♥♥ swimming, and explore yummy food at tampines with her was the best, and laugh out loud together. i gave 5 hearts! cos i'm feeling so happy cos i have an AWESOME friend who i can really talk to both person or sms, i always feel so comfortable! a few simple words from you always brightens up my day ( :

i love my friends and my holiday! ( :

home sweet home

2010-09-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥ baby raelyn, sandwich by chef yiyuan, snap and memory game.
great friday night at yuan's place with gladys!

i love holiday!

2010-09-23T02:00:00.004+08:00

JB with xinying on tues (: went to sing, watched 2 movies, PIRANHA and DEVIL. we made a super nice bracelet together which really made my day. dinner at kim gary restaurant! had so much fun with my Joy Buddy ♥

MY BEST LANTERN FESTIVAL WITH BESTIES (:

watched night movie The Shock Labyrinth at causeway point with gladys, yuan, john, moi. on our way home, johnson drove us to yishun park and we really had great time there although i was really scared. yeah! i love my friends, especially chipmunk(yiyuan) who was so nice today.

look forward to each day, meeting up with carolyn, besties and many other friends, before attachment starts in november ( :

best night of the week

2010-09-22T01:54:00.000+08:00

yeah, after i saw those tibits at my doorstep, i think i owe my bestfriend a 'sorry' too ( :

♥carooooo~

2010-09-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

cycling was fun although my butt was really cramped, and the sun could have turn me to hickory bbq sock if i never put sunblock . the beancurd tard was really wow wow♥♥ feels real good yet sinful having aston for dinner after 2 hours exercise. watched Going the distance and i will rate 5/5!
really want to say a big thank you, for messaging me all the time ever since we met so that my phone woudn't be lonely, and really, ur sms appeared so much more times than my full time bf, it really means alot, especially when bf is at outfield. and the encouragement you gave during exams and attachment, and today!ahhhyo, really too much to explain (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE(:

went over to yuan's place for steamboat at night. i really miss last time, when all of us used to stay over together. had instant noodle, watched dvd, played the stupiest games yuan created which made me laughed crazily, and etc. so many memories. those were the best time man. guess we are all old now, cant afford to stay up late. wahahaha.

it's been quite long since i really have time to write long post, and so much things in my heart i wana blog about.....
firstly, i miss silly who is away for outfield again. singing love songs loudly(almost shouting) and doing ugly actions was really the best thing to do together when we were bored. feeling blissful after the sweetest conversation in phone that night. nothing sweet stuff said, but just something so important for me to know.
secondly, sigh. 算了。不想说。

look forward to everyday(:

2010-09-12T21:50:00.007+08:00

really like the gift sis brought for me at japan (: the panda biscuit was the best!

herbal treatment with family on 22 aug(:

suddenly i feel that family is the only people i can lean on. and i'm really thankful for them.

gonna include them more in my holiday schedule (:

YUAN'S concert on 11th sept was awesome♥♥♥

he sang jj lin 原来 to me ! ahhh! the song he first sang to me during sec 4 N level when he was sitting beside me. it's really memorable song ( : then celebrated MOI's birthday at marina barrage! enjoyed! ( :

things don't always go the way i want.

2010-09-10T23:57:00.018+08:00

picnic plan was such a failure due to the fucking rain ): dampen our mood to the max. we have so little time to plan such thing, yet it rain when we reached. seriously wtf lar.

but we got to eat our fav takoyaki at ion watched resident evil too, which was a disappointment cos it wasn't so nice than we expected. and i cooked for him for dinner, though was just instant noodle, i guess his the only weirdo who see me as a potential cook. wahahaha!

i have no idea why we can last so far, all i know is that, i felt blissful when u wiped my tears, and your fingers entangled so tightly in mine after each quarrel. and at the end of the day, we always laughed out loud together. how long can this last? how much patience left? i wish i could predict so it won't hurt deeper.

2010-09-08T12:51:00.005+08:00

merepeeeK~

although she's irritating, but i feel so bored when she's not around.

the weekend that passed like bullet train

2010-09-06T00:24:00.003+08:00

my first wendy's with you...
step up was super great! makes me dance like crazy at home, wahahaha!
like finally, we met. like always, things never changed.
why do weekends always pass so quickly ):

really got nothing better to do, than playing with winter and spinach when i'm at home.

haven been studying this weekend ): sent mum and sisters to airport to feel the excitement with them, total of 10 aunt and cuzzies! i'm sure there will be so much so much fun. really really wish i can go with them. i'm sad and i really lost the motivation to study cos I SHOULD BE ON MY WAY TO JAPAN IN THE PLANE NOW! fuck, exams are totally the most sickening reason why i cant go! it's going to be a lonely week, even lizards came strolling around cos the house is sooo quiet. sianzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

2010-08-31T00:09:00.005+08:00

things i do when i miss you ♥

gonna spend my holiday painting, running, swimming. i wana find all my hobbies back. i can't wait! can't wait to see you too.

i failed again and again

2010-08-28T23:38:00.010+08:00

the word we conclude after hundreds of unsolved problem,
when will this end?
why cant i be immune to it?
why do i still feel so heartbroken?
what happened that made communication so difficult, time?
why did i fail again?

3 weeks in ward 64

2010-08-28T10:27:00.006+08:00

64, the place i swear i would never go again. but not so bad, cos i made new friends, and i found back my passion for elderly, so adorable that i wish i could bring them home ( : hahaha.
time pass pretty fast there, 3 weeks pass in a blink. have been really busy. that's what i like about nursing. work crazily, you won't have time to think so much. when you get home you jump onto your bed and snore immediately. hahah.

what should i do when i miss you ):

be myself ♥

2010-08-22T19:59:00.005+08:00

had great sat night with YY and JS ( : went to bistro at flyers to watch yuan performed. headed to marina barrage then supper at northpoint.

ho lar ho lar! look forward to holiday la~

family day ♥
woke up super early, wanted to study but stuck in drama again, went herbal treatment with mum and sisters. so happening. then dinner at sakae together (: really love my family so much.

sooo soo so long won't see you ):

i miss you...

when laughter seems endless :D

2010-08-11T22:25:00.006+08:00

thank you besties, really, this was my best National Day. my 19 years nd were just spent at home watching ndp with family or bf. 2010 was the best! although the feeling sucks, leaving grandma alone at home to watch npd this yr. and i sprained my pinky when yuan and js bullied me at the swing. ouch.

♥

2010-08-08T22:32:00.005+08:00

5 blessing reunion with the best teacher MR CHOO!

wow, people changed, even minli my bff which i just realised.

then me?

i want to write about her! fortune teller once told my mum, i will meet lots of good friends in my life. i met her,my part time boyfriend! (: she's the one who made me believed that 'thing happened for a reason'. have been repeating this belief in my mind whenever i'm down, it really pull me up. there's a reason knowing her, the reason is making me believe in fate. thank you.

there's a reason for holding on, there's a reason for the changes, there's a reason for the stress i'm feeling right now. there's always a reason for the decision made. it's all fated.

there's a reason for playing overnight mahjong later at van's place, i know i shouldn't!

will anyone understand the reason why, i refused to talk to anyone about what i'm brooding over now?

)':

10 years and always counting

2010-08-02T21:36:00.012+08:00

primary school gathering was fun (: so difficult to plan, but at least more than 10 came. appreciate so much. really do miss the old days in peiying. gonna have more gathering with them next time! ♥

sat spent with xinying at home :D

second year celebrating your birthday
it's not meant to be but ily.

i really shouldn't have passed my bcls cos i didn't practice enough, i did so badly but lecturer gave me chances, 4 chances! how blessed and lucky can i be. can my good luck be constant? i knew all along you are always here to bless me.
swimming! it's the best thing to do after each presentation. having super bodyache now! like finally, all presentations are done (:

so many things in my heart to say, but no one i can share....

2010-07-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

SHE'S FUCKING BITCH MAN SERIOUSLY !

fell in love with sunday♥

2010-07-25T22:48:00.003+08:00

movie, bag, badge, ice monster!!!!

if there's one thing i hate, it's making you go crazy of how to make me smile.

in the end, you always made it, thankyou. (:

too much to forget..

2010-07-23T16:06:00.022+08:00

perhaps, making my confidence level lower will show how smart you are.
perhaps, i'm really stupid.
perhaps, i'm taking it too seriously.
perhaps, i really shouldn't ask any questions.
perhaps, i shouldn't even talk at all.
perhaps, i found the kind of me that i don't wana be.
perhaps, you are not a friend i thought you really were

so i will always remember(:
i always have besties with me.

can i be there with you?

2010-07-21T00:17:00.011+08:00

if you are still here, you would probably scold me for digging my own grave, choosing nursing despite your disapproval, then now stressing over projects, test or attachment. when i think back about the things i didn't do for u or i did that upset you, i realised i haven't been a good daughter. if time would turn back, i could have done more instead of working or staying out for long hours. seeing grandma and mum getting older and weaker day by day, the fear of losing them become more and more intense. but once again, what have i done for them? are you looking after them?

MONDAY

2010-07-20T00:03:00.008+08:00

NR0915!

met johnson and glad! although only for an hour, was happy!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNSON!

kbox after sch with jeremy. LAUGHED OUT LOUD TTM!
too engrossed with his songs, he even used my leg as his guitar. he took so many picture of me as if his my no.1 fan or reporter, stupid actions made me laughed till i fell to the ground.

at the end of the day when i think back about the stupid things we did, it really make me smile

weeeeee~kend was so great !

2010-07-18T23:37:00.008+08:00

friday night was exciting! CAROLYN's BIRTHDAY♥ went flyers, then marina bay sand hotel. really had fun with her clique ( :

Saturday was busy! but enjoyed work. kids were really noisy but cute. almost 2 years of working, i'm wondering if i should quit my job. so sicked of waking up early on weekend.. erm. but i looked forward to see the kids, to see this 2 Nigel (:

SUNDAY WAS FRUITFUL! mcdonal open door was fun! my confident level increased so much after having to speak in front of so many people. enjoyed the job (:
celebrated JOHNSON's BIRTHDAY! had simple dinner at Raindrops restaurant, yet lots of laughter (: hope bestie enjoyed it.

wtf. i hate menses ttm, my whole body is bloated ! fuck the fats.

unconditional love

2010-07-13T22:50:00.010+08:00

i appeared in channel 8, tuesday report just now leh!!! hahahah. the story was about uncle ru hen, a rich volunteer who went all around the country to help the poor. mum and i went Myanmar in 2008 to help out, uncle ruhen really thought me alot about giving, loving and caring. his truly the kindest man on earth.
his the one wearing blue polo tee standing in the middle, smiling brightly in the picture below.

the show brought me back to the days when i was quite involved in volunteering.

the Myanmar trip, where the smiles on the villagers face when they saw our donations, were really so valuable, and thousands of orphans thanked us as if we were God.

and also the china trip to leprosy village with habitat for humanity in 2007, where every villagers treat each other sincerely. it was really an experience that change my whole life and my passion was discovered.

all the sat cleaning ups at old folks house and flag days. and all the SP leo club events.....

thinking of those day, i feel so disappointed in myself.

since the day i began my busy life, doing two jobs everyday, working every sat, earning and enjoying to the fullest, i've actually neglected my interest in volunteering ): seriously, i find that money has really took away lots of my time.. now i'm becoming so lazy to even study, and i desperately need to sleep whenever i'm free...

can i be energetic just like last time? ):

a reality

2010-07-12T00:25:00.008+08:00

SWIMMING AT JURONG was CRAZY and FUN ttm. i fell so badly in front of him again, and had a big bruise on my butt ! laugh out loud! then went strolling at chinese garden.

much that i wish we could communicate just like in the past, we cant.

MY BESTFRIEND IS ATTACHED ♥

first, J is attached to a super pretty gf, then ML is attached to a super nice bf. they say, when you love someone, you will be really happy when the person is happy. ohhh, so that's love. cos i feel that i'm the happiest person now :D

cause i don't want perfect

2010-07-07T23:52:00.011+08:00

i miss the one and only, who gets pissed off so easily, but would blow and comb my tangled hair patiently...
i miss the silly big head, who scolded me for crying but pulled all his hair out just to figure out what am i thinking...

2010-07-03T13:47:00.002+08:00

last night, i met up with JIEMIN, JIANMING, WEISUM and EGGHEAD who i haven seen him for 8 years! really love to catch up with old friend. i could really see the changes in all of us, our life, character, appearance, size and everything.

the only thing that remains the same in us, is the memories we will never forget ♥
friendship won't last forever, but at least memories do, it always strike endless conversations that make us still friends. (:

Friends forever?

2010-07-02T00:11:00.005+08:00

if there's one thing i hate, it's when things changed.
if there's one thing i hate, it's when the distance grew further.
hais.
friend.

2010-06-29T22:19:00.008+08:00

magnium mini was a joke today. haha. my classmates are really merepeek. although it's tiring waking up at 6 plus every morning, i still enjoy school. being able to see a special friend in lectures, the waving and smiling that always seem like our first time, carolyn made my lectures worth attending even if i didn't learn anything ( :

test and presentation are just tmr and thurs, is after holiday the reason why i'm still so relax, or is it that i'm really losing focus.

really couldn't concentrate, so i went running alone just now. then i had 2 big packets of potato chips for dinner while reading through my notes, and now im really having real bad gastric discomfort that makes my concentration worst ): i hate the feeling, hate my stomach.

i need my bestfriend's help :( i have been scolding lots vulgarities because of really small matter. it has become a habit. during secondary sch if she heard that, she wouldn't speak to me. help me. i need a punishment just like last time. MINLI!

2010-06-27T23:59:00.006+08:00

sok chin was here yesterday. we had good food at ivins. really had fun with my bff (:

headed down to van's house for MAJONG! those friends are really majong siao. the longer we play, the bigger we bet. my luck was really great, if only my luck stays good everytime i play with them. haha. laughed out loud thoughout the whole night, Ian even pee on his pant. omg. we were so noisy that her unfriendly neighbour came to warn us twice. haha, hanging out with them brought me back to those ah lian days (:

it's not that i don't have temper.
i'm acting blur, i'm giving in

not because i want to avoid the problems.

i just hate to argue.

and i'm like that,

i'm a lousy person

please accept.

if you are my friend...

thankyou.

me and my friend finally went to yishun to try the steam rice. omg, 超值得!

strongly recommend you to try.haha. we really love to hunt for good food together! hais, my gastric is always giving me trouble. i could have eat more without the pain.

thanks for standing by me, for bringing out the best in me ( :

Random

2010-06-25T00:59:00.004+08:00

i was browsing through my old entries and realised that i took a picture with oumi 4 years ago

..
and this was the handsome oumi that all female dogs go after.

i think he stays the longest there ever. haha
and it brought me back to childhood, when my cousins and i named that dog with black spot, Rocky. can the hometown be vibrant like last time,when everyone would gathered at the big home. i miss those days..

i can't seem to fall asleep every night... i miss you.

2010-06-23T17:00:00.004+08:00

i'm bored.
i'm trying so hard to study

but none of the lecture notes i read goes into my brain

wth. my body system is making fun of me

sometime i get so frustrated for being constipated, sometimes i just keep running to the toilet.

winter keep making noise to attract me to play with him.

the weather is so nice to sleep.

i keep having the urge to sing! argh!

i can never start studying

laptop, songs, terrapins, food, bed, toilet

they are all so distracting....

although things didn't go smoothly as the way we planned, i had great time with xinying. wanted to swim but duhh, stupid girl problem. so headed down to plaza sing for gelare but was closed down. had dimsum! went amk to kbox but rooms were full. wanted movie but argh, seats were full. took neoprints to waste time. had desserts! then we decided to sing at night, so we did :D fun day!

love this friend of mine (: